The Deermont Academy of Ballroom Dance by Marie Wilson

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The Miss Jean Brodie of the cha cha set, Miss Abigail Deermont stands five three in stacked heels and bouffant do. Four new trainees, including me, sit before her on a Monday morning, day one of our classes in bronze dance steps and tarnished sales techniques.

“The Cinncinati Six,” she announces, “is a strategy designed to help you sell Lifetime Memberships at the Deermont Academy of Ballroom Dance. “Who can tell me where the technique was developed?”

The guy to my left, an ex insurance salesman wearing a powder blue polyester suit, furiously flips through his Academy manual while the young lady to my right (who has chosen the dance instructress alias of Miss Toy) picks at her nail polish. Miss Deermont’s crème de la crème.

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“Cincinnati?” I volunteer.

“Correct!” Miss D swirls her arms before us. “You will all become Cincinnati Sixers!” She turns on her heels and carves an arabesque in the air. “Anyone over 18 who puts a ballot in the box at the mall wins six lessons.

“And it will be your job to teach basic bronze steps while also pumping those lucky winners for information.” Her nostrils flare like a flamenco dancer’s. “You have five classes to find out all about your charges’ personal lives, then on the sixth…” she pauses, her face tango-serious, “You move in for the kill.” Miss Toy looks abruptly up from her nails as the guy in the baby blue suit starts biting his.

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“You will sell Lifetime Memberships to lonely abject souls who long for the flight of terpsichore!” Miss D swoops her arms as if for take off. “It costs just five thousand dollars for a lifetime of dance lessons and Friday night socials at the Academy.” Her wings flutter and settle at her side. “And you get 5%.”

And the reality of my new job hits me like a ton of rhumba shoes.

*

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Fred Astaire glides into the studio in top hat, white tie and tails. Guests are arriving for the Friday night social. But Fred is not quite himself: his pants are too short and his socks are mismatched – one blue, one argyle.  Also the smooth black surface of his topper is interrupted by a glassy ebony orb. An almost imperceptible jewel in his crown, it looks like something out of a sci-fi movie, a transmitter to the Mothership or the cyclopean eye of Big Brother. It’s noticed by few, and only known in its true nature to its wearer and me. The wearer is, of course, not Fred Astaire at all but the remarkable Walter Kist in his grandfather’s best formal attire topped with his own madcap hatcam.

“Beam me up, Scottie,” I say, as Kist sashays past, shooting on the sly.

“There’s no intelligent life down here,” he counters, then aims his chapeau in my direction. I stick my tongue out at him as maracas and marimbas guide the tentative Lifers on the floor. He smiles and moves on, a soft shoe man dancing on crushed diamonds and rose petals whom no one pays much heed to despite his odd postures and wallflower poses.

But more than a few jaws drop at night’s end when Kist doffs his cap to dance a mad-hatter tango with me. Ignoring all proper bronze, silver or gold steps, we don’t moon like Brando, but our twists and turns and leaps comprise my last tango at Deermont’s. The next day I hand in my resignation.

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Vancouver born Marie Wilson, was one of the first aamora.com members. Marie is a writer, photographer, artist, actor, mother & muse living in Toronto. View her work on her website, on JPG Magazine or on aamora.com.

19 thoughts on “The Deermont Academy of Ballroom Dance by Marie Wilson”

  1. Love the whole series. Cinematic shots like these, with the use of flash, with this vintage look, are really amazing and superb. Thanks for share.

  2. I offer a motion to replace what has until now been accepted as reality, with yours. It’s better in every way. Thank you for the keyhole glimpses!!!

  3. Nice to hear from you, Mr Skip-the-light-fantastic Hunt. Thank you for kudos. I will most definitely be pursuing this work further and will let you know how it goes!

  4. Who, where, how….doesn’t matter! Your wit and vision are beyond compare. Scheherazade had nothing on you 🙂

  5. Marie, I love it when you do this… combine imaginative images with entertaining narrative. Can’t wait for more!

  6. Having spent the better part of the last week on The Strip in Vegas, I think the cast of characters at Miss Deermont’s would fit right in.

    Oh, and Miss Deermont certainly hired the right photographer.

  7. amazing sensitive brilliant moody melodic intense artistic. Nietzsche wrote in Twilight of the Idols something I think fits here and speaks directly to your images: “Nature, estimated artisically, is no model. It exaggerates, it distorts, to leaves gaps. Nature is chance….To see what is – that is the mark of another kind of spirit, the anti-artistic, the factual. One must know WHO one is.”

  8. Dear dear Deermont, Cincinnati Sixers. Memories of my sweet youth and Keeping Six. Don’t know the term? Ask any rounder, in the hoodie, standing by the slot machines waiting for the big winner.
    Can Miss Toy come out and play? I want to do her nails.
    Five friggin points, Deermont you’re stiffin your own. That’s why you packed it in, right? She’s got to double up.
    Listen, who bothers to read any more? Go for the ‘Arts Grant’, make the ‘Academy of Ballroom Dance’ film and here’s the Deermont side: You shot your artsy piece for the funders and the Triple X for the big bucks. A slight variation on a theme, right Miss Toy? Maybe I can do a little something to help out.
    OX (BLOOD)

  9. Marie, this is fantastic., I absolutely love these images as well as your brilliant comments. I would love to see this expose/documentary/spoof on film at the cinema. If I listen closely I can hear you narrating in the backgound.

  10. This is wonderfully entertaining, Marie!Miss Abigail Deermont is quite a character and I hope to read more about her.The images enhance the story and are sufficiently mysterious.I think I recognise one of the dancers, and I wonder how Moshe Dayan got into dance?

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